The First Wives Club (1996)
August 7, 2009 — theoppressedblog
I must say, the three stars make a pretty funny trio. Of the three, Hawn comes off best, as an actress who-in her middle years-is being subjected to the humiliation of playing "mother" roles. Keaton adds her malevolent touch to her usual
Annie Hall
type roles. Midler is surprisingly the lamest of the bunch. She's good in the scenes with Hawn and Keaton, but in others, she is constantly trying to steal the spotlight from the other actors (Sarah Jessica Parker, Dan Hedaya, Philip Bosco). However, it is quite enjoyable, and you'll love the wicked humor directed at New York high society. I only have one other major quip. Was the annoying show-tune, "You Don't Own Me", at the end of the picture really needed?
laughably
bad. No, I'd play a joke on to say that this notorious $15 million porn flick-which is allegedly about the life of the ill-mannered Roman Emperor (Malcolm McDowell!!!)-is without a scruple the sleaziest eyesore (and earsore for that matter) ever to dare ask for itself a sign picture.
It may have cost millions of dollars, but it certainly didn't go to good production values or fine acting. The costumes look as if they were all bought at a second-hand store; The cinematography looks as if mud was splashed all over the lens; The music score is abominably out of place here; The screenplay by Gore Vidal (
Vidal for Christ sakes!!!
) is recklessly scattershot; And the dialogue is mind-boggelingly dumb, not to mention badly dubbed. What is most sad is how such talents as McDowell (
A Clockwork Orange
), Helen Mirren, John Gielgud (looking as if he'd like to be anywhere else but in this movie) and Peter O'Toole got themselves mixed up in this debacle.
It may or may not shock you to know that the version I saw (there are other versions unfortunately) was the uncut, X-rated, 156 minute, hard-core film. Knowing some of the biased minds out there, some would probably think I was supposed to enjoy this. This is most sincerely not the case! Even the most avid fans of X-rated movies will be rightfully repelled, mostly by the endless series of decapitations and castrations. When you see this movie, you will probably do one of the following batch of choices. (a) Fall asleep, considering the monstrous length (for this type of picture). (b) Turn off the video after the first ten minutes in disgust. Or (c) Patiently wallow through two and a half hours of filth (as I did), coming out badly fazed for the next two months or so. Of course there is always my favorite choice, after you listen to reviews like this. (d) Skip it! I can understand if you want to see this film out of curiosity. You have every right to be curious, what with all the hoopla centered around
this. But for those of you who think your going to get an entertaining experience out of this, simply because of several scenes of nudity and orgies, then prepare yourself. You're about to slam into the wall of reality.
Oliver Twist
to a Redesigned York environs, with animals in the roles, is quite enjoyable kids and adults. Here's the gist of it. An orphaned kitten (voice of Joey Lawrence) meets up with a group of pick-walk off dogs, lead by the unshackle-spirited Dodger (Billy Joel), who yield a liking to little Oliver. Of course, a Disney animated covering is not without it's villains. This prematurely, it's in the arise of two bloodthirsty Dobermans and their criminal master, Sykes (Robert Loggia).
The animation isn't up to standards with some of Disney's earlier and recent 90's efforts, but the acting is enjoyable and the fine music (from Joel, Huey Lewis and Bette Midler) is the closest Disney has ever come to a rock score. It might not be a remembered classic like
Pinocchio
or
Bambi
, but it's definitely good enough for me.
One of the all-time great suspense-action pictures, with two top-draw performances by Poitier and Curtis, good support by Theodore Bikel as the sheriff in pursuit, an excellent story and many memorable scenes (the last scene is incredibly touching). This is a predecessor to some of the action-buddy flicks of recent years, though it's far superior in many ways to some of the high-budget, slick action fare of today.
The acting is okay, but it's heavily overshadowed by the lavish production designs and special effects. Curry is unrecognizable as Darkness, and he plays him with a certain flare. But because of the huge amounts of make-up, it could be just about anyone under those tons of latex. The movie is almost completely devoid of humor, something it desperately needs to help you wallow through the dark, depressing story line. If for nothing else, see it for the magnificent production values, instead of the dreary story.
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